Guys

Hey everyone I am here because I am having more boy troubles and I am actually really stumped on what to do. The reason I am coming to you guys about boy advice a lot more is because my friend isn't very helpful when it comes to me and boys. Once I told her that I liked a guy she blurted it out loud when the guy was like not even 5 feet away from us. Then there was that time when she knew my boyfriend was cheating on me and didn't tell me about it. Also there was that time where she flirted with my ex boyfriend knowing that I had feelings for the dude still but she said that it was all for me. Oh and there was that time where I was dating someone and she went and told that guy that she loved him just to see if he would cheat on me and she didn't actually tell me the whole truth about what actually happened. The reason I need boy advice is because I am stuck between 2 guys but before these 2 guys I was stuck between 3 guys.

 

The reason there is no longer 3 guys is because the guy was 24 and didn't live here and I've already been in like 9 long distance relationships and they never worked out in the end. He also had a high sex drive and the problem with that is the fact that I'm still a virgin and I'm not ready to do that. Yeah I talk about sex and joke around about it but when it actually comes to thinking about having sex or anything like that I try not to get involved in those topics because I'm not into that or doing that yet. Another thing is it seemed like it would be a better friendship then a relationship because whenever I need to talk to someone and my friends aren't answering me he'll talk to me and I just found it weird whenever he called me hun or honey or cute or hot. Something else is I don't want to get married. I'm 18 I'll be 19 next year. I still want to go to college and travel the world. He's not getting any younger he wants to get married and have family. 

 

The first guy in this boy mess is a guy I have known for a long time. I have known him for about 12-13 years and the thing is we have always had the same group of friends and we went to the same school but he never paid attention to me. He never once talked to me or anything. He didn't even show any interest in me. Then all of sudden 10th grade comes and everything changes and I don't know what changed. All of sudden we were talking, then it lead to hanging out, then it lead to texting, then it lead to flirting and then it lead to me and him liking each other. Which I found was weird because he had a crushes on like about 2 other girls. He would call girls hot and that he wants to have sex with them but then he tells me that the feelings he has for me is more than sexual feelings. I ended up asking him how long he's liked me for and he said ever since last year when I told him that I never kissed anyone. The problem is he has a record for being a player. He dated 5 girls at once and I know it was back in elementary school and that people can change but for some reason I can't let that go because I was in a relationship for 3 years and the guy cheated on me through out the whole relationship. I don't want to go throught that again. Also he's friends with someone who hates me and she doesn't like him talking to me, she doesn't like the idea of him hanging out with me or being my friend. Then he said that if me and him ever started dating we would have to keep it a secret what's the point of having a secret relationship because it just causes more drama. Me and him don't even have time for a secret relationship. He owns his own business, he works for a delievery company, he does work on the side for people, he has school and he's auditioning for the play that is coming up soon. Me I volunteer on Saturdays and Sundays, I go driving with my dad on Sundays, I'm helping out with the football at me school, I'm on student council, I joined school yearbook photography too, I have a college course ever Thursday and I have school to on top of everything. We don't even text each other during the day because we are so busy. The only time we can talk is like late at night and that's it because we have different things on certain days so how would a secret relationship work because once I am done everything I have to eat supper, have a shower, do homework and by the time I go up stairs I just want to lay down and watch a movie and sleep. Something to is my family loves him and thinks he's a great guy but sometimes it feels like he just wants sex and is trying to pressure me into having sex when I've told him that I'm not ready. But the thing is he also seems like he actually does like me but when he makes almost everything sexual then I feel like he's only acting. 

 

The second guy is a little harder when I mean a little hard I mean like my family loves him to death. My mom doesn't care if he comes over to our place, she doesn't care how long he stays, whenever he's over my family just laughts because he's funny, she allows me to go out by myself with him and she likes to tease me about him but the problem is my mom doesn't like the idea of me and him being together. The weird thing is none of my ex boyfriends have never gotten along with my family so well like he does. My first ex never even got to meet my family because he moved a few days later, my second ex got to meet them but then he dumped me later that day, my third ex got along with my family but not that well. My auntie and uncle liked him, my step grandma liked him, my parents seemed to like him. Whenever I was over at my auntie's and uncles and step grandma's place they would allow me to have him over, my parents allowed me to go out on a date him but only if my grandma came with us, my parents allowed him to come over whenever, my parents allowed him to be upstairs in my room but the problem was he didn't really get along with my sisters and the thing is he has brothers and sisters too. The thing was my ex didn't like my sisters coming up to my room to watch us play video games or to see what we were doing, when he could have been playing with my sisters he was too busy on the computer with me playing a game, then one day my sister did or said something and he flipped out on her and walked out of the house and he never came over to my place again. The thing is he has to understand that my sisters were young they didn't know better until his brothers and sisters that were older then him plus my sisters have a disability so they don't know better. Something else about that ex is he didn't like my friends either. The fourth ex well that was a horrible relationship that I should never have been in. He didn't really get a long with my family. He actually almost made me break my sisters finger one time, he was rude to me whenever we had a fight, my uncle hated him and that ex also didn't like my friends either. My fifth ex my family hated him. My mom brought him a ticket to a movie festival and he said that he would give her the money back he never gave her the money, he hated my sisters and he didn't really like my friends. The thing is this guy that is in this mess with the other guy actually gets a long with my family so well too. He'll wash his plate off after supper even if my mom tell's him that she'll do it later, he's actually friends with a few of my cousins, he likes the same music as my mom, he gets along with my sisters too. When I mean he gets along with my sisters I mean he has them on facebook, talks to them when no one wants to or their feelings sad they can go to him, when my sisters date someone he just wants them to be happy like he won't sit there asking guys bunch of questions, when my sisters get dumped or something he asks what happened and how are they handling it, he includes my sisters in games and everything. He actually takes an interest in my family and he's the first guy to do so. The thing is my family means so much to me and I'm very close to them so if my future boyfriend or boyfriend doesn't get along with my family then its a deal breaker because I don't want family drama and then I would have to choose. So it would be just best if everyone got along. He supports me but the thing is he moves to fast in a relationship. Me and him dated for 6 days and on the first day we started dating he said that he Loved me and that he was going to get me a promise ring. Then when I told him that I don't want to go to prom he told me that he would show up at my house in a tuex with a limo and flowers also that one of the flowers would have an engagment ring. The thing is he knows that I don't want to get married, he knows I don't want kids, he knows that I want travel the world and that I want to go to university so I can get a really good job. Me and him has different plans for the future. He wants to go to school in a different town. I want to go to school in Sudbury, he wants to go to British Clumbia or Detroit for school which is far away. What if we do get together and it works out for the next 8 months what's going to happen then because we apply to College's/Universities in November, we get our letters by May then we have to give the schools our answer by June the 1st then depending on the school your going to the move in days are different and I don't want a long distance relationship but I want him to follow his dreams and I don't want to feel like I'm holding him back. The truth is I might have always had feelings for him but my friends kept on telling me that he uses the same line on every girl, he has played mind games with me before by saying that he loves me then he would date someone and tell me that he doesn't have feelings for me and then when the relationship didn't work out he would tell me that he loves me again, he does drugs and I don't want be around that, he drinks but I drink to but he drinks more then I do because he's been drinking longer than I have and I don't know if he'll become an alcoholic and I don't know what he's like when he's drunk. My dad was an alcoholic in high school, my grandma was an alcoholic and my uncle is an alcoholic. My mom has done drugs before, my grandma has done drugs, my auntie has done drugs, my uncle has and still does drugs but only weed. When we broke up he ended up telling my friend that he needed to get out and get laid. What happens if we have a little fight what he'll go out and sleep with someone just because it didn't go the way he planned it would. That's what I'm scared of. I'm scared of being cheated on again and that's why I haven't had a boyfriend in a while. And that's why I guess I'm stuck between the two because I don't want to get my heart broken like I did before.  

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