I'm Done

I'm so done with everything. For starters I am done with my friends. I'm done with my friends because my one friend doesn't even talk to me even though he has my number, my other friend stopped being my friend because I became friends witha girl that she doesn't like. My new friend that I did make talks about me behind my back about the clothes I wear, my other new friend just keeps on bitching at me. My bestfriend only messages me when she wants money or just wants to hang out whenever she is free so then I have to change my plans around. My other friend that I made during the summer time basically controled me at our workplace. She said that I wasn't allowed to go get a drink, then when we had a tour she took over the tour so I got in trouble, then she started fighting with me when I said that it was almost time for me to get off my shift and then she went and told the boss that I was fighting with her and having an attitude with her. Then when we tried becoming friends again I get it shit for saying the words asshole, shit, fuck, and bitch. When i use those words she tells me to watch my language. I'm 18 and I'm sorry I'm not a christian like you. She even pressures me into doing beadwork, going to this march break camp and trying to get me to join this dance group. She invites me to church when my family doesn't believe in that stuff, she will read the bible to me and she will read this dailey bread which is a christian like newspaper. My other friend whenever we talk it's always about her and how she switched schools, reannoucned her faith, how she isn't doing stuff that she did before, always asking for relationship advice, always talking about her relationship, talking about her parents, talks about living on her own, and talks about how she is doing in school. My other friend just hangs out and talks to me when she needs food or she wants my phone to message my cousin who she has a crush on. My other guy friend whenever I buy nachos he doesn't ask he just takes, he made me late to my midterm, he has perverted pictures on his facebook and he has been caring a knife around with him the last 2 months and just today he was stopped by the VP and a cop.


Second I am done with school. I love school but that's not what I want to do with my life. I want to stay back a year to do an extra lap so I know for sure what I want to do. I want to go on the March break trip to Paris, Italy and Switzerland, I want to go to Cuba, I want to go on my graduation trip. I want to try out for soccer which is something I love to do. I want to audition for plays at school. I want to travel. I got accepted to Juliard once, I got accepted to a school in Toronto for Fashion, I got accepted to the New York Academy of Arts, I got accepted to 2 different schools in California for acting but I can't go to anyone of them. The reason because my mom doesn't like that idea of my being in Toronto on my own, we don't have the money to pay for either of the schools in California. My parents don't want me to go far away. I got accepted to three universities and I didn't even get time to think about what school I wanted to go to. One school was looking at me for soccer, the other school accepted me for the honors program and the third school would allow me to have the fresh start I want. When my parents found that I got an early acceptance to the school that would allow me to have a fresh start they yelled at me to accept it. I didn't even get time to think about what I wanted. I didn't even get to see the campuses. The thing is one school offers co-op which will give me hands one experience and the other school 95% of students graduate with a job offer. 


The third thing is I'm done with my family. I know that's harsh but I am done being treated like a kid. My boyfriend asked me if I wanted to meet his buddy and my mother flips out because I said yes and his buddy lives in the Westend and my mother says it's to far but my sister can walk all the way down to a small town that is 20-22 minutes away with her boyfriend and this town has a bad reputation. My boyfriend lived down there and when he opened the door to his place there was a dead body. There are drug dealers that live there, there has been stabbings down there, dead bodies, robberies and everything like that. My mother has even let my sister go to our old school which is a 8 minute walk and she has walked down there with her boyfriend and they didn't come back until it was dark I mean pitch black out. But my boyfriend's buddy only lives in 35 minutes away if your walking. There is only 13-15 minutes extra from the town my sister goes to. My mother allows me to go to the mall which is 12-15 minutes of a walk. There is only 20-23 minutes difference from the mall and where his buddy lives. But when my boyfriend said that he might be able to get us a ride my mother flips out even more. When driving his buddy only lives 5-7 minutes away. Then she got mad at me and said that I can do wherever I want and I can do whatever and if I want to get in a vehicle with someone I don't know that could have stolen license plates that maybe me getting locked up would help. She is holding my boyfriends decision against me and thinks I am going to make the same mistake. Here's the thing that makes no sense she allows me to go to Stratford, Sudbury, Ottawa where anything can happen. She even agreed that if I could come up with the money to go to this music festive that I could go on my own and the place that the music festive is at is 7 hours away and it's a 2 day event. She will even allow me to go to Vaughan where Canada's Wonderland is and that place is 6-7 hours away and will allow me to go with my boyfriend on our own when anything can happen. Then she allowing me to go to a university that is 4 hours away where I have no family or anything and anything can happen. But yet she won't allow me to go 35 minutes away from my house. My parents trust me to travel hours away with my boyfriend but yet doesn't my boyfriend enought to take me to a place that is only 35 minutes away and plus who said that we were going to be there all day. He just wanted if I wanted to meet his buddy and if I wanted to go his buddies place. He didn't say if he were staying the whole day there and plus my mother could say I am only allowed there for at least an hour and I have to come back. She even got mad that I didn't okay it with her first. I'm 18 I shouldn't have to okay it with her. I can make my own decisions and she has to trust that I will make the right choices. Plus she knows my boyfriend won't put me in any harm, he will make sure nothing happens to me, he will make sure that I won't get in trouble. He doesn't even like the idea of me smoking and when I'm not a school he tells me that I should go to school. He doesn't even want me to be into drugs and when he found out that I tried drugs he fliped out on me. He will protect me and if I was to get in trouble he would tell me to hid or run and he would take the blame for me.


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