I'm Pissed

Hey everyone I decided to name this blog I'm pissed because something happened yesterday but it's been happening a lot and it really pisses me off really badly and when you guys see what happened then you guys will understand why I don't act like I don't care about my friend.


I was sick one day and I ended up asking my friend the next day if I could use her notes. She was like "Nope I don't have them on me you'll have to ask someone else" but she excepts me when she's gone out of town for like 2 days or she's sick or she has an appointment to write down the notes and give them to her later when she get's back from a trip or when she is feeling better or when she comes back to school after an appointment. One day I ended up having to leave early to catch the bus so I didn't get to hear the teacher explain what we were suppose to do for the country assignment so I texted my friend hoping she would help me and she was like "You just have to follow the outline of the expectations that's all" and then when I asked her to look it over to see if it was okay she agreed but then she didn't even read it until 10:30pm and she didn't even actually read it either and here's something she said "As longer as you followed everything then it's fine" but the thing is any other time I ask her to look over my work she will actually take her time and when she see's an error she'll let me know and she would fix now it was like she didn't even care how well I do on the assignment. Its a good thing I didn't listen to her because I got a 36/40 and she got 26/40. One day in she actually sat next to me and I said she doesn't seem happy her response was "I haven't been happy the last 10 years" and I was like "No I mean you look angry and not in a good mood" and she was like "Yeah I'm not because we only ever talk about your problems" but the thing is we hadn't even talked in like 2 days when she said that. She basically snapped on me in class for no reason and then she goes and asks the teacher if she can finish some work in the library just because her boyfriend was in the library. She wasn't even doing our actual class work she was doing another class work. Then I was sick another day which was our test day which meant I had to do it the next day My friend argued with me about the answers on the test because I told her that I put Anthropology for question one and she argued saying that it was wrong and that it was sociology but when we got our test back I ended up getting the right answer and she got the wrong answer which got me a little confused because me and her took Grade 11 University Anthropology which we studied Anthropology, Psychology and Sociology. She finished with a 84% in that class which got me stumped on why she failied that first question on the test but got the second question right when at the beginnging of the school year we talked about what was Anthropology, Psychology and Sociology. The teacher even said "The people that took my class year should know this" and my friend didn't know which got me to thinking that maybe she didn't actually do her work and that she got someone else to do her work for her. I ended up getting 21/30 and she got 22/30 Then I ended up being sick again because of my stupid sister being sick for 2 weeks ended up giving me her cold. My friend has the nerves to call me after school telling me that they ended up taking 3 pages worth of notes and she agreed to allowing me to copy her notes so I would have them then later that night she said that I would have to ask someone else in the class for the notes after agreeing to give me her notes to copy. The next day I asked her if I could use her notes she was like "Nope because I keep my notebook in my locker until 4th period". So I was like fine how about I take a photo of them during 4th period she ends up agreeing and what happens she didn't even bring her notebook with her. She was too worried about finishing up a class project which wasn't even our class project and she wasn't even paying attention either in class. Then yesterday I had a doctors appointment and before the appointment I asked her what they were doing in class and she was like "Nothing doing other class work". She even knew when our unit 2 test was and she didn't even tell me so I would know. I think the rest she isn't being helpful is because she's getting a 67% in our class while I'm getting a 78% so I think she is a little pissed off that I'm doing better than her and she doesn't like that fact so she's trying to make me drop my mark lower so she can get a higher mark and feel happy and then she'll start helping me out. That's one reason why I don't act like I care when it comes to my friend. 


I love acting. It's my passion and it's my true love. It's something that I want to spend my life doing. Acting is the only thing that I have been talking about doing since I could talk. Well what happened was my friend would tell me to try out for school plays but I ended up getting offers that was once in a life time oppounities. I ended up landing an audition for a movie and when I told her she was like "Cool" and that was all she said. She didn't say good job, she didn't say congratulations, she didn't want to come to the audition with me to see how it went and after the movie audition she didn't even text me to see how it went. When I got the script to practice she wouldn't even run lines with me to help me practice. Then I ended up getting another movie audition and what happens the same thing happens again. She doesn't want to run lines with me, she didn't say good job, she didn't congratulated me, she didn't want to come to the audition to see how it went or just for support annd she didn't even text me asking how it went. What happened I ended up landing an audition for a short film and what happened she did it all over again. But before I was getting movie auditions, play auditions and short film auditions she was printing plays off for us to rehears so I could get practice. Then when my dream started to come true she basically wanted nothing to do with me. On the top of acting. I ended up starting to audition for school plays. I auditioned for The Sound Of Music I ended up getting a part but what happened she wouldn't come see me rehears, she didn't come to dress rehearsal, she didn't come to see the play, she didn't say good luck when it came to opening night. When she wanted to hang out and I had rehearsals she would sit outside until I was done. After that auditioning for that play I auditioned for The Music Man and what happened the same thing happened. Then one day she actually had the nerve to tell me that I should get a realistic dream when she was the one in the first place telling me to go for it and now she's telling me to get a realistic dream. When I told her I got accepted into a great acting school in California what happened she didn't care. Then when I decided to get a realistic dream what happens she shuts it down and says I copied her because I want to become a Psychologist which she wants to become but I choose this after we studies Anthropology and she wanted to be a construction worker that makes the blueprints. When I told I was trying out for basketball what happened she wouldn't say good luck, she didn't come to a single basketball game, she didn't come to the try outs and didn't even text me to see how the try outs went. Then I tried out for volleyball what happened the same thing happened again. The same thing happened again when I tried out for soccer. Then when I told her that I was going out for student council what happened she ended up messaging me saying "Student council is full of preppy cheery girls have fun" but later on she started to help me. She would make posters and put them up, she came over and helped me make brownies and candy kabobs with a ruffle but when it came to the actual day of setting everything up she left me hanging. I had to put everything out on the table while having a broken wrist. There was not much I could do and what happened at lunch time she came down stairs and she started freaking out saying the kids are only allowed one and telling them the wrong information and then she leaves me to go write a test knowing that I have a broken wrist which meant I couldn't do much. The weird thing is she'll drop everything to go support her boyfriend. Oh something else to is when I told her I got a summer job she ended up telling me that she got a job but later told me when school started again that she didn't have a job and that she only said that to get me to shut up. 


The last few years I have been going through a lot of shit and my friend basically doesn't even care or anything. My grandpa passed away when I was in like the 5th grade and I was close with him and one year on his death anniversary what happened my friend all she did was fight with me the whole daying knowing that it was my grandpa's death anniversary. When my cousin died she basically could of cared less she didn't even care if it affected me or not she just argued with me the whole day. Then when my auntie passed away I didn't tell my friend because of the way she had been acting up towards my other family members passing away. Then when I told her my grandpa and my step grandma was moving back she didn't care she didn't even care about how I felt about it. Then one day I told her that I changed and she starts bitching at me saying that I haven't changed, if I wanted to change I would have to change my habits, I have to stop talking about the same thing and she ends up saying that I'm not close with my family. She has no clue if I am close with them or not. I was in a relationship with a guy and my friend knew he was cheating on me and she didn't even tell me she kept it from me. When I ended up starting smoking she wouldn't talk to me for days on end. When my family was thinking about moving she didn't care and when I told her again because my dad had actually got a job out of town and she was like "You already told me this". All through 9-11 grade she knew I didn't like her boyfriend and what happened she would give me and him time outs when we wouldn't get a long and she allowed her boyfriend to bully me but I stopped my boyfriend when he called her a bitch. I actually broke up with the dude after he called her that but she won't even tell her boyfriend to stop. He has even crossed the line by threatening to call the cops on me and threaten to get me suspended from school. She actually gave him my number. Those two were ganging up on me calling a slut, a whore, attention whore and every other name in the book. Right now I'm trying to deal with Depression and Trimethylaminuria which none of this is helping. My parents just separated in August of this year and then on top of that my sister has anxiety, depression like me and ADHD. I ended up turning to my friend for support because her parents are divorced and she has been dealing with a illness and I thought she could help but what happens she actually stops talking to me. When I found out my dad had a new facebook and it was a photo of him and another girl I was upset and she didn't care. She basically told me to brush it off. Then when I told her about my sister having all that she was "So" and when I told her I have to go to family counciling all she said was "Oh" and that was all. When I told her that I was planning on moving out she ends up flipping out on me and starts fighting with me. When I told her I was getting my own vehicle she just ignored me for the day. Which I don't understand because her dad is giving her his car. Which is a really new car and it cost a lot of money. I'm getting a used one for cheap because my family doesn't have the money to buy me a new vehicle. When I told my friend that I was sexually harassed by an ex boyfriend of mine she didn't seem like she cared. 


What happened yesterday that got me upset and mad is the fact that I ended up going to the doctors and I ended up gettting really bad news. It was news I was hoping I would never have to hear but I ended up getting the news and well I went and told my friend that I had just got some bad news. Her response was "Okay" and I was "Just forget it" because she didn't seem like she wanted to know then she response by saying "Whatever bye" like she didn't even care. 


The reason I act like I don't care about my friend is because 1) she doesn't help me when I need help but it's okay for me to help her 2) She can support her boyfriend but can't support her friend 3) She's not there when I need her she is always fighting with me when I need someone to talk to 4) Why should I care about a friend that doesn't care about me 

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