I have this huge weight on my chest and I don't know how to get it off my chest because what I have on my chest could either make my relationship stronger or it could break my relationship.
Me and my boyfriend have been friends for 6 years. When me and him first met I was in a long term relationship and turns out my boyfriend ended up becoming friends with my current boyfriend so my current boyfriend knew everything that was going on between me and his friend. There was a lot of cheating going on in the relationship, jealousy and he didn't like who I hung out with also he would blame me for everything and then on the graduation trip he sexually harassed me then I told my current boyfriend who I was friends at the time about everything that was going on. Once he found out about everything they stopped being friends. But here's the thing my current boyfriend didn't look at me as just a friend, he wanted to be more than friends and he would ask me out everyday. He didn't care if I was in a relationship with a friend of his or in a relationship with some random guy he didn't know. He would just keep on asking me out even when I would say No. Then whenever he got into a relationship with a friend of mine he would walk up to me and say that he didn't have feelings for me anymore then whenever the relationship ended he would come to me and tell me that he still loves me and he would do that same thing all the time whenever he was a in a relationship and then when the relationship didn't work he turned to me. In the 10 grade me and him did date in the summer time for 6 days not even a week because I was going through some stuff and I was really messed up and in a dark place. There was another problem my family didn't know I was dating him because they didn't approve of him as a boyfriend for me because he was into the alcohol, drugs, and he had a criminal record. In October when he first started dating again my mother said if he wants to be with me he has to stay out of trouble, he has to stop drinking and he has to stop doing drugs. In the next 1-2 months he'll be off probabtion, he doesn't drink or buy alcohol anymore, and he through out everything he had for doing drugs to be with me. At the start of the relationship there was like no communication at all. Like he had just moved out of his parent's house and moved into my sisters boyfriends uncle's place so he didn't have a computer so the only thing he had was my sisters boyfriends uncle's phone that everyone shared so some days he wouldn't get the phone until late at night but by then we would only be able to talk for an hour and then the phone would die. When I say there was no communication I mean like he didn't have away to talk to me on facebook, he didn't have my number, he didn't have a cell phone and he would just show up whenever and here's the thing he doesn't like one of my friends and me and that friend always hangs out. Then my boyfriend ended up moving out on his own so we still had no way of communicating with each other so whenever I made plans with that friend he didn't like I would have to tell him the day before so then he won't come over and have to deal with her. Something else to is at the start he would buy me stuff and would always come over but then all of sudden everything stopped. He wasn't buying me stuff anymore which I don't like people buying me stuff to begin with because then I feel guilty that they are spending money on me when I could just get it myself and then he would not come over to my place for 2 days and then it would be 5 days he wouldn't come to my place and then it was a week. It has been like probably 2-3 days since I lost saw him now. Then on Tuesday my family was going to go to the movies and we were allowed me and my sister to invite our boyfriends well my boyfriend might not even come because his best friends is coming up to town on Tuesday and is staying up here for a week so there goes a week of me not seeing him because once that friend comes up they are like two peas in a pod that you can't separate. They are like glued to the hips and I don't like his friend because his friend use to bully me all the time. The problem is I really need to talk to him about something important and I'm scared of talking to him in person about it because my mom said if I don't talk to him that she will open her mouth and if she opens her mouth it will make things worse. I could always talk to him on facebook but then I'm scared to see him face to face and a problem to that is he's hardly on and when he's on he doesn't message right back or once you type him he'll just appear offline later.